Juliet's Rant
by Obscured Angel
Summary: Juliet gets an opinion, a choice and a voice in her perhaps not so loving relationship with Romeo.


**Author's note:** This was written as a monologue for my English class and is here published almost word for word as I performed it.

 **Rated T:** For mild coarse language and mentions of murder.

 **Disclaimer:** No copyright infringement is intended. No profit was made from this story.

 **Setting:** Juliet enters her bedroom moments after Romeo has left after telling her of his banishment and his departure for Mantua.

* * *

[ _Enter Juliet, slamming her bedroom door behind her_ ]

Juliet: [ _Pacing_ ] Oh that damn Romeo! The nerve he has coming here to serenade me after everything that has happened, after everything he has done! How dare he, that wretched fool? Who does he think he is?

[ _Sighs and places hand over her eyes in despair_ ] If only my dear friend Rosaline hadn't met him what now seems so long ago. They had first spoken to each other at the market and within the hour Romeo was declaring his undying love and started trailing after her like a puppy. She managed to get rid of him before going home and thought she wouldn't see him again, but he showed up that night at her house and gave her a 10 page love poem. Who does that? How did he even have the time to write that in one afternoon? You would think that a girl disappearing on you the second your back was turned would be clue enough for any man that she is just not interested, but of course that wasn't the case for the oblivious Romeo.

For days afterwards, he followed her around, listening to her every word, complementing her every move, and constantly asking for her hand in marriage. Of course being the well raised girl she is, Rosaline couldn't just tell him to get lost. So when she came to me desperate for help, wanting to get rid of that love struck clingy fool, we hatched a plan. A quite brilliant plan, if I do say so myself. As such, when Romeo showed up the next day, Rosaline lied and told him she had made a vow of chastity. Of course he pleaded and begged her to reconsider, but she said it was too late, she had made a vow before God and all that nonsense. Finally he gave up and walked home weeping as if the world had ended.

For some reason, that pathetic little Romeo fell into depression over the loss of a non-existing love between him and a girl he had only met a few days earlier. He didn't even know her favorite color, poem or even her last name for that matter. I mean honestly, he acts like a hormone driven little boy.

But of course it didn't end there! Somehow he caught wind that Rosaline was going to be at my family's dinner party. Although he and his friends showed up wearing masks and tried to act as if they belonged, we easily recognized them. Romeo, that dim senseless boy, was wearing his family crest in plain sight. How foolish can he be? Talk about a lack of preparation! Of course I rushed Rosaline out the back door and thought that would be the end of that.

[ _Exasperated_ ] But no, it never is, is it? It seemed like the second Romeo's eyes fell upon me, he had completely forgotten about [ _Makes air quotations_ ] the love of his life, and fallen in love with me. With me! I tried to be good person and help out my friend, so why do I get stuck with the damn fool?

I thought I would be smart, that I would string him along, use him for my own purpose, have little fun and adventure in this boring life: a life in which I am oppressed and my opinions ignored and desires disregarded. I thought at the time: what could go wrong? It's not like someone could die. [ _Shamefully_ ] Oh how wrong I was! How naive I was in thinking I could remain in control of the situation. My poor cousin Tybalt, slain by Romeo's own hand. I can't believe he had the audacity to come and see me after he murdered my favorite cousin: the man I hoped to marry and bare children for, the lesser of two evils when I had to choose either Paris or him.

It's time for a new plan. Romeo has now gone into exile, but he's predictable, he'll be back some way or another so long as he believes we are in love. I need to take care of him once and for all. The easiest plan would be to sneak poison into his drink, but he's in going to Mantua. I can't go there myself and I have no one else to send in my stead. Besides, murdering someone isn't in my best interests.

To be honest, now that I think about it, there isn't anything left for me here. I refuse to marry Paris, Tybalt is dead and my own father has all but disowned me.

What to do? What to do? Perhaps the only solution left is to leave and never return. But I can't just announce my departure; the rest of my family would never allow me, a young unmarried girl, to go. They would do anything in their power to stop me. I can't just run off either, they would think I was kidnapped and try to find me. They would never stop looking and probably rope in the whole city into helping. No, I need a more permanent and full proof solution. I should fake my death! That will get everyone off my back. The good Friar Lawrence probably has some mixture or tonic that could make it seem as if I was dead, and once my body would be in the crypt, I could easily escape and make my own way in life: free of Romeo, free of my family, free of my past! I should of thought of this sooner! I must make hast and go through with my plan as soon as possible if I want to avoid being forced to marry Paris.

[ _Exit Juliet_ ]


End file.
